At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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