Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
