that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I supernannyed him into submission
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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