ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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