dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
