so explain again why im purple
no
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
