So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
