He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
