he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
