I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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