It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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