All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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