He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
