Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
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