i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
