I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
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