Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
