her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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