You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
You may now shotgun with the bride
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
