I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
