we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
