How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
