so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize