Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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