there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
the raccoons are back...
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