I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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