hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
