i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
