Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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