I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
