Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
