I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize