She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
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