Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
