wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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