I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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