i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
There r osticjed everywhere
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
