Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
