Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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