so explain again why im purple
no
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
40s are totally the cure
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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