The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
