my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I'm drive I can fine osifer
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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