Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
