Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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