If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
