i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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