i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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