thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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