I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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