He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Less talking, more tequila
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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