I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
how drunk are you?
Several
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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