Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(818): View more from California

to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people

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(850): View more from Florida

The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.

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(774): View more from Massachusetts

According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.

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(616): View more from Michigan

the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.

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(270): View more from Kentucky

The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...

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(719): View more from Colorado

I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me

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(360): View more from Washington

True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?

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(354): View more from

We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.

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