I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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