Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
